The commercials are better

Last weekend we went to Cedar Point and it was okay, but not as good as I thought it would be. I remember we had a really good time there the last couple of times I was there but I was drunk too so maybe that was it! This time I didn't drink very much. They don't let you do ANYTHING fun there, you can't climb up on the rides or play with buttons or anything. Although i like the flippity snake things in that one souvenir shop! You should hear Cue yell when one of those gets put down her dress!

But one really fun part was that I got to ride on the OUTSIDE of the bus for almost thirty miles! We had to stop at the rest area because Leesah could not find a THINGY in her purse (you all know what a THINGY is right and I don't have to talk about that stuff on my blog right?) and she had to buy one at the machine so we stopped at the rest stop and I got out to go for a walk and they ALMOST LEFT WITHOUT ME but I caught up to the bus just in time and I got to hang on the back door for almost 30 miles! (I know how long it was because Ian keeps saying that he always wanted to know what "30 blissfully quiet miles" felt like. Well if he wants to know that he should hang off the back of the bus next time we go on a trip cause it was COOL!!! I was going to try climing on top but i couldn't get my foot on the ledge.)

Can you believe that THINGIES come in bathroom vending machines! I love bathroom vending machines. I find all kinds of cool stuff in them. They don't have THINGIES in the mens' room vending machines though.

I'll Eat That!

I don't care what it is, I can eat anything you dare me to because it will not hurt. I have eaten broken glass and razor blades and big icky nails and dirt and Donna's cooking. See, I can say that even though I know that she's going to come and whomp me for it, because it will not hurt.

Yesterday I ate Andrew's watch! But then I gave it back to him so he didn't know.

Maybe I will write some more later today but that's it for now. I woke up at 5:45 in the morning and had to go to the bathroom and while I was in there it occcurred to me that I should blog this about eating whatever. I wonder if I am still dreaming? Maybe I'm not blogging anything at all. But at least I don't have to go to the bathroom any more.

Naked Ladies!

Leesah and Donna ran naked through the house today! Someone stole their tops when they were sunbathing! It wasn't me! I SWEAR it wasn't me! I think it was Medoc.

It's really hot here now, but know what? Over on the other side of the world, it's the middle of winter! I always thought that was neat. If I really really wanted to go sledding right now, I could get on an airplane and go to Australia or South Africa and go sledding.

I like riding on airplanes. The stewardesses bring me peanuts and pillows. Once Joey and I were on the airplane and we kept asking for more and more pillows just to see how many we could get her to bring us. I think we each had about 14 of them by the end of the flight, and Joey had drooled on at least half of his because he does that when he goes to sleep. Gross.

Our new swimming pool is PERFECT! I like sending the boats over the edge of the above-ground part into the ground-level part. It's like a huuuuuuge waterfalls. If you listen really carefully you can hear the little Fisher Price people screaming.

No One Will Believe Me

But I really truly really truly really really really did NOT make this up myself!!!!!

Now I have to go put it in the Manor Forum too!!!!!

Things that Would Be Cool

Learning how to play the trombone! And then serenading everyone from the front yard! Taking a bath in pudding. A hot-air balloon ride, sitting ON TOP of the balloon! 99 luftballoons!

What the hell is a luftballoon?

Oh, Joey is saying that means it's red. Really?

Other things that would be cool: Picking your nose on television. Getting some people to admit that they're wrong! (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!)

Black-and-white speckley chickens!!!


MY NEW FLIP-FLOPS!!! With the funny foot tread! We went to KMART today and I found those shoes there, now I know why Joey and Kimberly and Leesah are always talking about shoes, but I bet that none of them have flip flips like this!

Computers are cool. My computer plays pac-man with me! What else is cool: The Pac-Man-Fever song. I should learn to play THAT on the trombone! E-mail is cool. Having an e-mail address is cool. Getting letters about my penis from people who don't even KNOW me well enough to talk about that is NOT cool. I told them all just where to stick their amazing high-powered hard-on pills. Hope that works for 'em.

Watermelons are cool. Spitting watermelon seeds is even better. There's even CONTESTS for that! I mean, come on. When else do you get encouraged to spit as much and as far as possible? But not at people? Who yell at you? And smack you with the garden hose? And leave welts? It didn't hurt.

I Don't Know What to Write About

But here I am on the computer, because no one else in the house wants to do anything. Boring boring boring!!!! We grilled out, we played in the mud that's in the hole where the new swimming pool will be, we did kickball, but Waaaaaaaah, it's toooooooo hoooooottttttttt to do anything but lay around and watch the television.

I like to watch the television too. But they won't let me watch the Jaques Cousteau special, the one with the squids. Sooooo I have it on in my room and I am typing in my blog and eating VINCE'S CHEEZY-POOFS THAT I STOLE HA HA HA! He doesn't know I have them. And he never will!

Unless he checks my stool.

Because that's where I hid them.

Under the stool by my window.

What did you THINK I was talking about?!

Now they are chasing the squid. I hope that little guy doesn't get hurt. That's an awful big squid and it could probably crush his oxygen tank with one testacle.

TENTACLE! I mean TENTACLE!!!

Last night Joey got really drunk! But he only threw up once that I know of. Cue and I put him to bed around 2:30 in the morning. I had to sit on him to make him stay in there. It was funnny!

There, dammit. I hope they're happy down there, watching the Corpse Bride AGAIN. I'm ALL OUT of things to write about. I'm going to go see what else there is to eat. Ooooh! Hey! I bet we have some strawberries left.

I think I know this guy!!

I wish I had a job like this.

Not that I don't like the job I have now.

But this would be fun, too.